Personality
Apr. 18th, 2015 06:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keep_hope_aliveDistant and aloof is one way to describe Richter. The death of his parents had led the young boy confused, hurt, lost, and angry with little to no way of coping with these emotions. The pain was so great that he had developed a fear of letting people into his life, and those who were already involved were left in a gray area. He kept his family and friends at arm’s length despite longing for their comfort and affection, this results in him having conflicted interactions about his behavior and lifestyle which only hurts him in the end. He is also prone to dodging any emotional conversations or anything that may bring up his past. He uses sarcasm, wit, dry humor, and bad jokes as a kind of self-defense mechanism to change the topic.
Another form of his emotional defense system is his alter ego, "Cerberus". The Cerberus was born from Richter's anger, hate, and confusion. In the beginning its only purpose was to punish those who seek to do evil and seek out revenge for the injustice done to him. Paranoid, untrusting, and violent, the Cerberus is Richter's way of venting out the negative feelings and pain that gathers in his chest. If left unchecked those feelings would have overpowered what little compassion and sanity he has left, but this had changed when he met Ciel.
Ciel had managed to go past all of Richter's emotional defenses and give him what he desired his whole life, love and comfort. She had the capability to change Richter completely, free him of his pain and heal his wounds, but sadly that was not meant to be. Cerberus had achieved its goal and gotten vengeance but only to kill Ciel in the process, which rekindled the pain Richter kept inside and further deepened his fear of letting people into his life. Realizing what kind of monster he had become, Richter spiraled into depression that seemed like it would end with his death but it was in despair where he found the strength to continue. He had returned to his family and they had accepted him despite his actions and for the first time in years, he had been able to breathe easy.
Following her death and the fall of Rise City, Richter had grown to hate himself for what he's done. He grew to hate the word "justice", believing that there is no such thing and that it's only use is to hide one's vengeance and anger. His hate and apathy for people had vanished but he was still emotionally weary and unstable to be considered truly free. His fear of people had also changed, instead of it him being scared to be hurt, is had also grown to fear hurting others which sparked a great change in him. Richter had vowed to not spill needless blood and only ended the life of those who were truly evil. Some would call it justice, to him it was simple a path for redemption and maintaining order.
This was a harsh and lonely path so to survive and endure, he had to make his defenses stronger to support his heart. The pain had remained and grown, adding to this was his self-loathing and guilt, emotions that would tear most people apart but Richter had acquired something else to balance those feelings. Resolve, belief, and compassion. These forgotten emotions had replaced hate and apathy and given him the strength to walk the road he chose. He locked away his negative feelings, deeming them a distraction for his cause but since his heart had already been opened once, he is now vulnerable to emotional slips, showing his more human side.
Richter’s Cerberus had undergone several changes during his career. At first it was a defense that protected him from others then it changed to something that protected others from him. He believed that he was only capable of hurting those around him, a negative belief born from his guilt but he uses this as one of his driving force to keep himself moving and to keep his emotional wall together. Though this feeling had carried him forward for some years, the events with the Returners and meeting Olivia had introduced new emotions and made him understand the feelings Ciel had placed in the sword she gave him.
He came to realize that his true enemy was the despair in Rise City, something that has almost become a part of everyone’s life there. He was terrified by the revelation, thinking that it would be impossible to eliminate such a norm, but it was also that same fear that spurred him forward. Richter understood and accepted that he can’t save the city using his strength alone, that he needs to spark a change in the people to make a difference or more people like the Returners, who gave in to the despair that magic will always be inferior to technology, will appear.
He took on the daunting task of becoming a hero and took it to heart. Though he warmed up to the idea, he still holds some doubt in him since he is guilty for plunging the city into the depression but he doesn’t voice this since his mission is too important to allow distractions like that. He would suppress this doubt by focusing on his mission and growing stronger under the tutelage of Olivia, though he is aware that he cannot leave it untended for fear that it may just grow or hinder him in the future.
Beneath all the emotional stress and instability, Richter is still the same small child that lost his parents. Still hurting from the trauma and scared to be hurt any further, he unconsciously seeks the comfort of others hoping they can heal and understand him. In truth, Richter is a kind, considerate, and naturally compassionate. These emotions were simply suppressed by his anger and hate but when Ciel came into his life, these emotions came trickling down in small but meaningful gestures and even more so under Olivia’s influence. He wants to be loved and wants to love again, but because of his fears, these desires are struck down for the sake of his mission. He sacrifices his wishes to fight for those he's wronged, to honor Ciel's name, and change the city he failed.
Another form of his emotional defense system is his alter ego, "Cerberus". The Cerberus was born from Richter's anger, hate, and confusion. In the beginning its only purpose was to punish those who seek to do evil and seek out revenge for the injustice done to him. Paranoid, untrusting, and violent, the Cerberus is Richter's way of venting out the negative feelings and pain that gathers in his chest. If left unchecked those feelings would have overpowered what little compassion and sanity he has left, but this had changed when he met Ciel.
Ciel had managed to go past all of Richter's emotional defenses and give him what he desired his whole life, love and comfort. She had the capability to change Richter completely, free him of his pain and heal his wounds, but sadly that was not meant to be. Cerberus had achieved its goal and gotten vengeance but only to kill Ciel in the process, which rekindled the pain Richter kept inside and further deepened his fear of letting people into his life. Realizing what kind of monster he had become, Richter spiraled into depression that seemed like it would end with his death but it was in despair where he found the strength to continue. He had returned to his family and they had accepted him despite his actions and for the first time in years, he had been able to breathe easy.
Following her death and the fall of Rise City, Richter had grown to hate himself for what he's done. He grew to hate the word "justice", believing that there is no such thing and that it's only use is to hide one's vengeance and anger. His hate and apathy for people had vanished but he was still emotionally weary and unstable to be considered truly free. His fear of people had also changed, instead of it him being scared to be hurt, is had also grown to fear hurting others which sparked a great change in him. Richter had vowed to not spill needless blood and only ended the life of those who were truly evil. Some would call it justice, to him it was simple a path for redemption and maintaining order.
This was a harsh and lonely path so to survive and endure, he had to make his defenses stronger to support his heart. The pain had remained and grown, adding to this was his self-loathing and guilt, emotions that would tear most people apart but Richter had acquired something else to balance those feelings. Resolve, belief, and compassion. These forgotten emotions had replaced hate and apathy and given him the strength to walk the road he chose. He locked away his negative feelings, deeming them a distraction for his cause but since his heart had already been opened once, he is now vulnerable to emotional slips, showing his more human side.
Richter’s Cerberus had undergone several changes during his career. At first it was a defense that protected him from others then it changed to something that protected others from him. He believed that he was only capable of hurting those around him, a negative belief born from his guilt but he uses this as one of his driving force to keep himself moving and to keep his emotional wall together. Though this feeling had carried him forward for some years, the events with the Returners and meeting Olivia had introduced new emotions and made him understand the feelings Ciel had placed in the sword she gave him.
He came to realize that his true enemy was the despair in Rise City, something that has almost become a part of everyone’s life there. He was terrified by the revelation, thinking that it would be impossible to eliminate such a norm, but it was also that same fear that spurred him forward. Richter understood and accepted that he can’t save the city using his strength alone, that he needs to spark a change in the people to make a difference or more people like the Returners, who gave in to the despair that magic will always be inferior to technology, will appear.
He took on the daunting task of becoming a hero and took it to heart. Though he warmed up to the idea, he still holds some doubt in him since he is guilty for plunging the city into the depression but he doesn’t voice this since his mission is too important to allow distractions like that. He would suppress this doubt by focusing on his mission and growing stronger under the tutelage of Olivia, though he is aware that he cannot leave it untended for fear that it may just grow or hinder him in the future.
Beneath all the emotional stress and instability, Richter is still the same small child that lost his parents. Still hurting from the trauma and scared to be hurt any further, he unconsciously seeks the comfort of others hoping they can heal and understand him. In truth, Richter is a kind, considerate, and naturally compassionate. These emotions were simply suppressed by his anger and hate but when Ciel came into his life, these emotions came trickling down in small but meaningful gestures and even more so under Olivia’s influence. He wants to be loved and wants to love again, but because of his fears, these desires are struck down for the sake of his mission. He sacrifices his wishes to fight for those he's wronged, to honor Ciel's name, and change the city he failed.
